Former England skipper Lewis Moody has revealed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet deal with the full implications of the muscle-degenerating condition that took the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was part of the 2003 championship side and lifted numerous English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast a fortnight after learning he has the condition.
"There's an element of facing the future and being reluctant to fully comprehend that at the present time," he said.
"It's not that I don't understand where it's progressing. We understand that. But there is certainly a unwillingness to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, conversing alongside his wife Annie, says rather he feels "at ease" as he focuses on his current welfare, his family and getting ready for when the condition worsens.
"Possibly that's trauma or perhaps I process things differently, and when I have the information, it's simpler," he added.
First Indications
Moody discovered he had MND after observing some lack of strength in his upper arm while training in the gym.
After rehabilitation failed to improve the issue, a series of scans indicated nerve cells in his neurological system had been compromised by MND.
"You're given this medical finding of MND and we're rightly quite moved about it, but it's so strange because I sense that I'm perfectly healthy," he remarked.
"I don't experience sick. I don't feel unwell
"My symptoms are very minor. I have a small amount of muscle loss in the fingers and the upper arm.
"I'm still able to doing anything and everything. And hopefully that will carry on for as long as is attainable."
Disease Advancement
MND can develop rapidly.
According to the non-profit MND Association, the condition kills a one-third of people within a year and over half within 730 days of identification, as ingestion and inhalation become increasingly challenging.
Medical care can only delay decline.
"It's not me that I am upset for," commented an affected Moody.
"There's sadness around having to tell my mum - as an single child - and the consequences that has for her."
Personal Impact
Conversing from the household with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by emotion when he spoke about breaking the news to his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the heartbreaking news, commenting: "This was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two excellent boys and that was quite upsetting," Moody said.
"We were seated on the couch in crying, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog leapt across and started removing the drops off our faces, which was rather silly."
Moody said the priority was staying in the moment.
"We have no solution and that is why you have to be extremely militantly focused on just welcoming and savoring all aspects now," he stated.
"As Annie said, we've been very fortunate that the primary choice I made when I concluded playing was to devote as much period with the kids as feasible. We won't recover those times back."
Player Link
Top-level athletes are unevenly impacted by MND, with investigations indicating the incidence of the condition is up to 600% elevated than in the general population.
It is considered that by restricting the air available and producing injury to neural pathways, regular, vigorous training can activate the condition in those inherently predisposed.
Athletic Playing Days
Moody, who gained 71 England appearances and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was called 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in acknowledgment of his brave, unwavering method to the game.
He participated through a fracture of his leg for a period with Leicester and once sparked a practice altercation with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he left a training equipment and started engaging in collisions.
After appearing as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the back of the line-out in the decisive phase of play, setting a foundation for half-back Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to score the victory-securing drop-goal.
Assistance Community
Moody has previously notified Johnson, who captained England to that championship, and a handful of other former players about his condition, but the others will be finding out his news with the remainder of public.
"There shall be a moment when we'll need to depend on their support but, at the moment, just having that type of affection and acceptance that people are there is all that matters," he commented.
"Rugby is such a wonderful community.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even if it concluded now, I've valued all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"When you get to call your passion your vocation, it's one of the greatest blessings.
"Having accomplished it for so extended a duration with the groups that I did it with was a delight. And I am aware they will want to support in whatever way they can and I anticipate having those conversations."
