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Sometimes, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles is convinced he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his periods of extreme self-importance can become “really delusional”, he states. “You are on cloud nine and you think, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I stand above others … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are typically coming after a “crash”, where he feels deeply emotional and embarrassed about his conduct, leaving him particularly vulnerable to disapproval from those around him. He began to think he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after looking up his traits through digital sources – and was later diagnosed by a professional. However, he is skeptical he would have accepted the diagnosis if he hadn’t independently formed that realization personally. When someone suggests to somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – especially if they harbor feelings of superiority. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve built up. And within that framework, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining The Condition

While people have been labelled as narcissists for over 100 years, the meaning can be ambiguous what is meant by the term. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” explains an expert in narcissism, noting the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he notes many people hide it, due to widespread prejudice associated with the illness. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “impaired compassion”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to bolster one’s self-esteem through behaviors including pursuing power,” the professor says. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Gender Differences in NPD Presentation

Though up to 75% of people identified as having narcissistic personality disorder are men, findings indicates this statistic does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that female narcissism is typically appears in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is under-identified. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be more socially permissible, similar to everything in society,” notes a 23-year-old who shares content on her dual diagnosis on digital platforms. It’s fairly common, the two disorders co-occur.

First-Hand Experiences

“I really struggle with dealing with feedback and being turned down,” she says, since when I’m told that the issue lies with me, I either go into defence mode or I completely shut down.” Although experiencing this behavior – which is often called “ego wounding”, she has been trying to overcome it and accept input from her loved ones, as she strives not to return into the harmful behaviour of her past. I used to be manipulative to my partners as a teenager,” she admits. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she notes she and her significant other “have a dynamic where I told him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, if I say something manipulative, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing mostly in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have healthy examples during development. “I’ve been learning continuously the difference between and is not appropriate to say when arguing because I never had that in my formative years,” she shares. Every insult was fair game when my relatives were insulting me when I was growing up.”

Origins of Narcissistic Traits

These mental health issues tend to be linked to difficulties as a child. Genetics play a role,” explains a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “tied to that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to cope in formative years”, he continues, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting specific standards. They then “persist in applying those same mechanisms as adults”.

Similar to other of the those diagnosed, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The adult explains when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve academic success and career success, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “acceptable.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships lasted. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he admits. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of loving someone, until he met his current partner of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, in a comparable situation, finds it hard to manage mood stability. She is “really understanding of the internal struggles in my head”, he notes – it was surprisingly, she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

Following an appointment to his GP, John was referred to a clinical psychologist for an diagnosis and was given the NPD label. He has been recommended for therapeutic sessions through national services (ongoing counseling is the only treatment that has been shown to help NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the waiting list for a year and a half: It was indicated it is likely to occur early next year.”

He has shared with a small circle about his NPD diagnosis, because “prejudice is common that all narcissists are abusers”, but, in his own mind, he has embraced the diagnosis. The awareness assists me to understand myself better, which is positive,” he comments. All of the people have acknowledged their condition and are looking for support for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the disorder. But the existence of individuals sharing their stories and the development of virtual networks indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number